


The Crimson Lily

by theariasoto



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Anxiety, Author Is Sleep Deprived, F/M, OC x Sasuke, Original Character(s), References to Depression, Romance, What the fuck even IS this?!?, convoluted, ongoing fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-08 20:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12872637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theariasoto/pseuds/theariasoto
Summary: ⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠If depression, anxiety and anorexia trigger you, this is just a warning to continue at your own risk.⚠Born from blood and forged with evil intent, can Shinku Kagami redeem herself?And yes, she likes Sasuke... Goddamn his perfect self.This is a basic OC convoluted trash fic.-question everything-https : / / www . fanfiction . net / s / 12743227 / 1 / The - Crimson - Lily





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prologue
> 
> 0-Sasuke
> 
> Sasuke Uchiha found the front door to the Uchiha manor unlocked. He slid the door open, kunai in hand, only to find the Lord Hokage on his couch. Sighing, he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
> 
> "What do you need?"
> 
> "We have an assignment for you. We found a girl in the household of a known Akatsuki member, chained in the basement. She may be a spy. The village doesn't trust her, and we need her supervised. An adult would be suspicious."
> 
> "So you need me to spy on her."
> 
> "We need you to move in with her."
> 
> Sasuke's eyes widened, his brows lifting slightly as he clutched the edge of a table.
> 
> "She's an orphan. She's about your age, twelve or so. And you don't have much of a choice."
> 
> Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
> 
> "You're going to be living in the same building as Naruto Uzumaki. Pack your things."
> 
> Sasuke hadn't realized he was gripping the kunai with such force, but he stabbed it into the mahogany wood of the table, splintering the wood as he made his way to the bedroom. He folded his clothing army-style into a duffel bag, two kunai and five shuriken.
> 
> When he emerged from his bedroom, the man was no longer there. In his place on the couch was a key and a slip of paper with his new address on it.
> 
> Sasuke grunted, locking the door behind him and taking his time going to the new neighborhood he lived in.
> 
> When he entered the apartment, he saw a short girl with waist-length white hair. She looked up and made eye contact, her red eyes on his black ones, and he had a shock before realizing that it wasn't Sharingan. He would've sensed it.
> 
> "Albinism."
> 
> She whispered, breaking eye contact.
> 
> "My body isn't capable of making pigment. Are you..."
> 
> She paused.
> 
> "Are you Uchiha?"
> 
> "Sasuke."
> 
> He winced at her calling him by his last name. He set down his bag, walking into the room that didn't have her things in it, door open so as to keep an eye on her.
> 
> Later that night, he heard a sniffle, then a choked sob, followed by hitched breaths as she cried herself to sleep.

# Chapter 1

## 1-Sakura

"Did you hear that, Sakura? Sasuke-kun's living with a girl!"

News travelled quickly, and even though that damn girl had only been living with him for one night, all Sakura heard about on Monday was Shinku Kagami. Just the mention of that girl made Sakura's blood boil, even though today was the day. Her day. The day that she'd be assigned a team, and hopefully she'd be with Sasuke...

Curse that girl, she'd never have him!

Sakura was too busy glaring daggers into the back of the new girl's head, and she didn't notice her name get called, and so Ino elbowed her.

"Team 7: Haruno Sakura."

Sakura seated herself in the center seat at the new table, crossing her fingers.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

Naruto beamed, sitting on the table as opposed to in a chair as he should have done. Sakura's expression twitched.

"Uchiha Sasuke."

Sakura's face lit up and Naruto fumed silently.

"Team 8: Kagami Shinku, Hyuuga Hinata, Yamanaka Ino."

Sakura smirked. Shinku deserved those two, as long as she got Sasuke. She turned around and shrieked;

As Neji Hyuuga walked past, he accidentally bumped into Naruto and he collided with Sasuke, lips-first. They were kissing!

"NARUTO!"

Sakura punched him off of the table. Not something she would usually resort to, but desperate times call for desperate measures...

Ino ran over to Sasuke.

"What happened?"

Sasuke looked genuinely ticked off, unlike his usual cold and uncaring demeanor.

"Nothing."

"Report to your team leaders in the morning. You are dismissed."

Sasuke stormed away, and Sakura liked the idea of him leaving Shinku to find her own way home, but then he slowed down to allow her to catch up.

Sakura caught on to the opportunity like a leech.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun!"

She ran to latch onto his arm and look up at him longingly.

Unfortunately, Naruto followed her and she still ignored him. He was irrelevant.

"Do you want to go for dinner at a fancy restaurant tonight? Like, as a date?" Sakura looked up with big, hopeful eyes.

"No."

Sasuke shrugged her off easily.

"I'm cooking dinner tonight. I went to the market yesterday."

Shinku scurried quickly and quietly to catch up with her roommate, who had stopped to stare at his feet.

"You don't have to cook. I'm not broke."

Shinku shook her head.

"I really would like to."

Sakura cut in.

"Shut up, Kagami. You're not his little slave girl, are you? You're so pathetic and desperate. Sasuke can damn well take care of himself."

Naruto sidestepped the tension completely. He was totally oblivious.

"What if we all went for dinner as a group?"

Sakura stared at him like he'd just ripped the head off her favorite teddy bear and she wanted to rip his head off in exchange.

Sasuke looked up and glanced at each person coolly, his hands in his pockets and his eyes lingering on Shinku before reaching Naruto.

"I'm pretty sure we'd all go broke by taking you up on that offer. Especially with your appetite."

Right on cue, Naruto's stomach growled and he laughed nervously. Sasuke put a hand on Shinku's shoulder and began to walk home.

 

## 2-Shinku

Shinku put the tatami mat aside, slicing the sushi. After having gotten home, she had tackled the task of cooking dinner.

She served out the noodles, poured the miso soup, and placed the salmon avocado rolls on a large platter.

Sasuke walked out of his room just in time.

The dinner wasn't perfect by any means. After the mission that killed her parents, she was used to cooking for her grandmother. She used to get stabbed in the foot of her grandmother was dissatisfied with the meal, so she braced for the pain of a kunai, whimpering as Sasuke took his first bite. She mistook his expression for anger, and she dropped to the floor, tears streaming down her face. She had flashes of the past as she sobbed.

"Forgive me."

Sasuke had stopped mid-bite, unsure what to do.

"Please. I'm sorry."

She shook with sobs.

"Don't hurt me."

There was a sharp sound as his chopsticks hit the ground and Sasuke struggled to carry her to the bed.

Her shuddering sobs made him feel an impulse to help, to do something, but there was nothing he could do. He didn't know how to help her, so he sat on the floor of his own bedroom, her sleeping in his bed. It was all he could do to try to protect her, watching her face as she slept.

He slept on the floor that night.

 

## 3-Naruto

After Kakashi, his mentor, finished testing them on the first day of training, Naruto saw a slightly familiar figure at the edge of the bridge.

Kakashi had disappeared already as Naruto shouted.

"Hey! You!"

The blonde ran across the bridge and part of the way down the hill to meet her.

"What's your name?"

"I'm uh... K-Kagami. Shinku Kagami."

"I'm Naruto."

He chuckled.

"But I'll bet you probably already knew that."

"I live in your building, right?"

"I thought you lived with Sasuke?"

"I do. In your building."

Naruto turned to where Sasuke had been, but the black-haired boy was already halfway down the hill, Sakura trailing after him.

Shinku flinched as Naruto placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Welcome to Konoha."

"I'm from here."

"What?!? Then how come I've never seen you around?!"

"I, um..."

Shinku ran to Sasuke, not talking to him or touching him, just silently walking next to him. Sasuke glared at Naruto, pushing Sakura aside and turning toward home, pulling Shinku there by her black knit sweater-covered forearm.

"Baka."

Sasuke mumbled in Naruto's direction.

Naruto caught Sakura by the arm, and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm not some rag doll you boys can throw around."

Sakura grunted, wrenching herself out of his grip.

 

## 4-Sasuke

Sasuke walked through the garden, headed to the market by a shortcut, thinking. He didn't have to look behind him to know she was there. It was just one constant in his life now. She was probably just afraid of getting lost. What other reason would she have for following him around all the time? Not that she was clingy or anything...

Sasuke looked back and saw that she'd disappeared. He heard a rustling noise above him and saw that she'd climbed the tree.

"If you fall, I'm not catching you."

Shinku smiled and giggled, climbing further. That girl... She could be sad one minute, cold and unreadable the next, and giddy five seconds later. Petals fell in her hair, and she plucked a flower and spun it between the forefinger and thumb of her left hand.

"Sakura," she whispered.

"What?"

Sasuke looked confused. A rare show of emotion.

"It means cherry blossom. I... I want to be... Her friend."

She let go of the flower, and it fell to the ground. She dropped gracefully beside him and smiled more.

There might be petals in her hair, but there were more in his. She ran her fingers through his hair and laughed. He shrank away from her touch, a bit uncomfortable, but not saying anything.

"She loves you," said Shinku.

She skipped away, and continued down the path.

Whether he meant to step on the flower she dropped, he'd never know. It just happened.

Sasuke took off through the trees, catching up to Shinku easily. She laughed, and he smiled, if only for a second.

When they got home, he realized that he hadn't gone to the market after all. Shinku pulled bread down from the kitchen cabinet and began to make a sandwich. Sasuke looked up, cool and calculated. There were still flower petals in her hair.

"I didn't know you went shopping."

"I did," Shinku replied. "I said so yesterday. Didn't you hear?"

He had, in fact, heard her when she said it yesterday, but he asked anyway to make her think he'd forgotten. He did that to put people off, stay distant.

Cold, stoic. Was it a pretense?

Uncaring, maybe. He only cared about getting his revenge one day.

He squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe it was a good thing he'd gotten out of that house instead of walking past those bedrooms every day and staying out as long as possible just to avoid the flashbacks.

He gripped the edge of the table. Hard.

"Sasuke?" Shinku looked over at him, eyes wide. "Sasuke, please don't break the table..."

Sasuke let go after he saw the first cracks start to form. Shinku sliced the sandwich perfectly in half, placing it on a plate and pulling his hand from the table, holding it in both of hers.

"Sasuke, you're brooding again."

Shinku opened her mouth to say something else, but shook her head and walked away.

She didn't make anything for herself, Sasuke noticed.

In fact, she rarely ate at all.

He followed, standing in her doorway and handing her the other half of his sandwich. She hesitated, looking up at him.

When she finally took it, she thanked him and he turned to leave.

"Oh, and Sasuke?"

He glanced behind him for a second, stopping in his tracks.

"Thank you... For last night. I noticed you slept on the floor."

Sasuke stood silent, giving a single, almost imperceptible nod before returning to his room.

Shinku didn't cry that night.


	2. Chapter 2

#  Chapter 2

##  5-Sakura

Sakura was uneasy about this entire situation. Naruto was on her left, on the slender end of the branch. Sasuke was on her right, closest to the tree trunk. Sakura stood, sandwiched between her two teammates, a pond 25 feet below them.

Kakashi would throw small wooden spheres at them full force, and they had about a one-inch radius. They had to dodge them, and Naruto was the first to fall into the pond, of course.

Once he was back on the branch, five balls flew at them, and Sakura ducked, Sasuke turning to the side in one fluid motion. Naruto got a little too confident, moving his left foot further out on the limb, a bit too far. He snapped the branch and caught on to the part by Sakura's feet.

Sasuke pressed her against his chest, making room for Naruto to clamber up. The blonde chuckled nervously, and Sakura gasped, her face reddening.

Of course, she pulled Sasuke down into the water with her less than five minutes later.

They were all soaked in the end.

"You were so heroic up there."

Sakura smiled up at Sasuke, clinging to his arm.

"Thank you, Sasu--"

"Don't be so naïve. You're so annoying."

He glared at her with those cold, dark, unfeeling eyes. Damn them. They smoldered with perfection, even when he was angry.

Especially when he was angry.

Damn him.

"But, Sasuke..."

"Don't."

He shrugged out of her hold easily, his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched in a defiant slouch.

Sakura clasped a fist over her heart, which ached at the disdain in his voice.

##  6-Shinku

"Asuma's nothing like Kakashi."

Ino whined.

"He's not nearly as laid back. Sakura has it easy."

Shinku and Hinata plodded along, tired but still halfway listening to Ino's endless stream of chatter, cheerful as a babbling brook.

Shinku had just opened her mouth to respond when she caught sight of the pink-haired kunoichi herself. Sakura was bruised up, muddy and sopping wet. Suddenly, she doubted Kakashi's training was anywhere near easier than theirs, but it definitely looked less boring.

Ino's eyes widened as she took in the sight of Kakashi's pupil. Shinku rushed right up to Sakura as she stumbled.

"Sakura, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Sakura replied.

Shinku cupped her cheek and tilted Sakura's face upward so as to make eye contact.

Sakura suddenly stood up ramrod straight, turning around so as not to let Shinku see her face turn bright red.

Shinku looked up at the taller girl, also blushing.

"Sakura, I--"

"Tell Asuma to lay off the training a little. He's fried your brain."

"I just want to help."

"I don't need help, baka."

Shinku stepped back as suddenly as if Sakura had slapped her, and both girls ran in opposite directions to their respective homes.

Was her only chance at friendship ruined?

Why did she try to help?

Shinku was crying so much her vision blurred.

She didn't see the blue and orange jacket until she smacked into it.

Digging her red-painted fingernails in, she let go and cried openly.

##  7-Naruto

She ran into his arms full force.

He barely knew her, but he suddenly felt responsible for comforting her and making sure she was okay. Naruto Uzumaki had a crying girl clutching the fabric of his jacket, sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her, and she flinched away from him when he made first contact, then relaxed into his awkward hold.

Shinku buried her face in Naruto's chest. He ran his fingers through her hair, the initial shock wearing off. He pulled away for two seconds, taking off his jacket and draping it around her shoulders, sitting her down on the bench in front of their building.

"Shinku, what happened?"

She shook her head and took a deep breath that shuddered through every bone in both of their bodies. Her white hair was in front of her eyes, eyes the color of blood that still brimmed with tears as they stared deep into his soul. He sighed and put an arm around her.

"So, what'd Sasuke do?"

Shinku made a sound somewhere between crying and laughing.

"It wasn't Sasuke."

"So, what was it?"

"Nothing, it's just, I tried to help Sakura, and..." She sighed.

Now it was Naruto's turn to laugh.

"She doesn't take it very well when people try to help her. Unless they're Sasuke."

"Does she... 'Like' Sasuke?"

"I think she always has and always will. I wish she'd give someone else a chance, though!"

"I know someone else who thinks the same about you."

"Wha-- Who?!?"

Shinku smirked and turned around, sauntering up the stairs.

##  8-Sasuke

Sasuke approached the building, and felt it immediately. Something was wrong. Someone's chakra was skyrocketing inside the apartment, and there was someone else in there...

Shinku.

Only, once he stepped inside the apartment, he realized that it felt like Sharingan.

Was it Itachi?

He heard a crash and began to move, swiftly and silently down the hallway.

Shinku was pinned down on her bed by a boy, slightly older than them by about two years, and he looked upset.

"Shinku, come back with me."

Shinku's eyes were still red, just with the telltale spinning black pinwheels of Sharingan, and she was crying.

"No--"

The boy fiercely slammed his mouth down on hers, in what could hardly be considered a kiss. She gave in, tears streaming down her face.

"I love you," he said.

"I know," she looked away. "I know you do, Kabuto."

Sasuke's kunai sliced through the air between Shinku and her ex boyfriend. They turned to look, but he tackled Kabuto from behind, holding another kunai to his throat.

A simple substitution jutsu, and Sasuke was left holding a log. Kabuto whispered into Shinku's ear and disappeared out the window.

Shinku shook her head from side to side, dissolving into a fit of tears.

She couldn't control it, Sasuke realized.

This was why she wasn't trusted by the village. She wasn't an Uchiha, and yet...

Sasuke couldn't shake the image of the spinning black madness in her large, red, innocent eyes.

He leaned against the doorframe, watching her.

"H-he was mad ab-bout the-the jacket," Shinku stuttered.

Sasuke looked at the jacket she held in her hands, clearly Naruto's.

"He s-said he could smell the f-fox on me... I forgot to give it back..."

Shinku clutched the orange, blue and white fabric, sobbing and stuttering.

Sasuke almost wished it had been Itachi. This just gave him more information to swallow.

"Shinku. Tell me what's going on."

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

#  Chapter 3

##  9-Sakura

Sasuke was almost as late as Kakashi this time, but he held something at arm's length with two fingers, immediately flinging the offending bundle at Naruto's head once he was within reach. Naruto's jacket.

Sakura wondered why Sasuke had it in the first place, but she didn't ask. Sasuke said nothing, and Naruto just put it on immediately.

Kakashi had them do the same thing as yesterday, and it was tiring. Sasuke was unfocused and was the first to fall. Sakura was surprised, delaying her reaction by a split second. They had learned that Kakashi only started the count over if they hit the water, and it was a team building exercise. They helped hold each other up, scampering all over the tree like squirrels. They eventually lost count after 100 or so, but they were laughing. Well, except for Sasuke.

Kakashi was amused by their progress, and Sakura found it difficult to keep a straight face with all of Naruto's flailing. Sasuke worked like a machine, and she was used to that, but he seemed slower today.

So, Sakura was distracted, too.

Naruto went to playfully hit her, and she dodged on instinct, shoving her elbow into Sasuke's ribcage as she pulled back for a punch, but stopped midway when she heard a splash.

Sasuke had let himself fall into the water. And it was Sakura's fault.

Again.

"I'm sorry!"

Sakura yelled down at him.

He didn't even look up.

##  10-Shinku

'You were made for me.'

Every silence pulled his voice to the forefront of her mind.

'I love you.'

Shinku knew he did, in his own twisted way. From a young age, he was her only friend and her only support. Her only other caretakers were Orochimaru and her grandmother. He was only two years older, and he was her lifeline.

The worst part was, he knew it.

"Shinku?"

She looked up into the concerned and wide blue Bambi eyes belonging to Naruto Uzumaki.

"What's wrong?"

He vigorously rubbed at her cheek with the sleeve of his jacket, and only then did she realize that she was crying. She turned red and laughed a little.

"Nothing."

She sniffed, wiping her face with the sleeve of her black knit sweater. She always wore long sleeves, pulling the loose cuffs down over her wrists, causing the wide collar to slip down around her shoulders.

"That didn't look like 'nothing'."

"I'm fine, trust me."

All of them had finally gone out for ramen, and it had been going well until a lull in the conversation allowed her mind to wander...

Shinku brought her mind back to the present, with Naruto on her right and Sasuke on her left at the Ichiraku ramen stand. Sasuke looked slightly concerned. He placed a hand on her bare shoulder, turning her stool to face him.

"Was it him again?"

She shook her head, but the way she bit her lip was something Sasuke took note of, and it betrayed her thoughts.

"We need to tell the Hokage, or this is only going to get worse."

Shinku shook her head, tugging at her wrists again.

"They'll be back," she whispered.

Naruto and Sakura shared a look of confusion.

"You'll be protected from whoever's after you," Naruto said in an attempt to reassure her.

Shinku looked at Naruto behind her and stood up, fixing her gray skirt.

"We can only hope Kabuto hasn't told Orochimaru yet."

The name sent chills down everybody's spines, and she grabbed Naruto's right hand in her left, and Sasuke's left in her right.

##  11-Naruto

"And you didn't tell your teammates your home was attacked?"

Naruto glared at Sasuke, who had just recounted Wednesday's events. They were sitting in the apartment and waiting for Shinku to come back from the meeting with the Hokage. It was the next day, and Shinku was sent for early in the morning.

Naruto stared at the door like a puppy waiting for its owner to come home. It was almost noon, and Kakashi was in the meeting, so they didn't have training. No one knew how Kakashi was relevant to the meeting about her Sharingan, but apparently he was.

"So, she has a Sharingan. And she's not related to you. Is that possible?" Sakura looked confused.

Sasuke nodded.

At long last, Shinku walked into the apartment.

Naruto went to bombard her with questions, and Sakura babbled a useless apology for useless hatred. Sasuke silenced them both with a glare.

"They were worried about you," he told Shinku.

"'They' were worried?" Shinku tilted her head and smirked.

"We," he admitted reluctantly.

Naruto saw Sakura clench and unclench her fists and smiled.

"So, what are they doing about it?" Naruto asked. "They have to be doing something!"

"They didn't tell me anything... But Sasuke's not allowed to let me out of his sight."

"The way I heard it, you're not allowed out of my sight."

Shinku blushed and joined them on the couches, next to Sasuke on the loveseat he'd been taking up with his feet. He moved his feet to let her sit, and Sakura turned bright tomato red.

"Hey, does anybody want ramen? I can make some and you can all stay for dinner."

"That sounds nice. I'm starving!"

Shinku smiled.

##  12-Sasuke

"You're not as bad of a guy as you want people to think."

Naruto and Sakura had left, and Shinku had just started to do the dishes when Sasuke, instead of asking if she needed help, shoved her aside to do it for her.

"Hmph."

He made his trademark sound, handing her the last bowl for her to dry. He turned away from her, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. He glanced at her sideways.

"Sasuke..."

This time, for the first time he could remember, he was only silent from lack of words and not from deliberate disinterest. She started to walk around him, making eye contact. The moment he looked away, she hugged him tightly.

He had no idea what to do, so he held her by her tiny waist and hugged back. Unlike anyone else, she didn't flinch away from his touch.

All he knew was how to destroy, not build. Something about her made him want to protect her, not hurt, but help. If all he could do was break, then he would go after anyone who wanted to hurt her.

"Maybe you're right," he said quietly, "but that's how I have to be."

Shinku let out an unearthly groan and fell to the ground, clutching at her waist and clawing at it again and again.

"He's... Angry..."

She gasped. She pulled the fabric of her shirt upward, pulling her skirt down a little to reveal an agitated curse mark, like three black commas spiraling outward.

"It's... Orochimaru."

She winced as he brushed his fingers over the mark lightly. It rested on her hipbone, black marks out of place on her pale skin, aggravated and pulsing.

As he kneeled next to her, Sasuke could do nothing to make the pain go away. He lifted her up and sped out of the apartment.

"I'd... Forgotten to tell the Hokage earlier..."

Damn. He'd have to be the one to do it now.

He took her down to the hospital, demanding that Tsunade help her immediately. If he couldn't help her, he'd damn well make sure the best medical nin the village had ever had was the one to do it.

 


	4. Chapter 4

#  Chapter 4

##  13-Sakura

Stretching and yawning, Sakura rose from bed. She walked to the window, opening it wide to lean out and prop her chin in her hands, resting her elbows on the ledge. It was a sunny day, and she looked out onto busy streets.

After getting ready, she slung her messenger bag over her shoulder, then thought better of it. What would she need it for on a Saturday?

Her classic red dress felt familiar against her skin, her dark blue ribbon in her hair as always in her shoulder-length hair. So what felt... Different?

Bang!

She opened her bedroom door to find that someone had kicked her front door inward. Her heart was racing as she pulled a kunai from her thigh sheath. That was, until she saw the intruder.

"Sasuke, what are you doing here?"

She re-sheathed her kunai and placed her hands on her hips.

"I didn't have the keys to my apartment, and Shinku's in the infirmary."

"That doesn't give you the right to break down my door!"

"You didn't answer when I knocked."

Sakura groaned. Upon closer inspection, the door could just be put back onto its sliding track. It wasn't broken.

"So, why didn't you just ask Shinku for her keys?"

She sighed.

"She almost knocked out Tsunade when the curse mark was sealed. No one was allowed in."

Sakura shook her head, grabbed him by the collar and said, "Well, I guess you're stuck with me."

She was meeting up with Naruto for lunch at 11 anyway, so she could make the switch-off. Naruto could babysit him.

Oh, boy, would the fan girls have her head for this.

##  14-Shinku

Her floor length red dress flowed behind her as she ran. The snakes were gaining on them, one large, one small. The large snake coiled around her companion, the boy made of fire. As it bit into his neck, black flames began to sprout all over his body, turning his coal-black eyes red.

She held his hand, despite the burning, and the black flames receded. In fact, he went out altogether, and the large snake disappeared. His body went limp and he began to choke.

The small snake was coiled around her wrist, and she saw her hand move toward him, a kunai clutched tightly. She slit his throat, and they both collapsed with identical wounds.

Suddenly, the scenery changed, and a green-eyed girl held her underwater. She felt the water pouring into her lungs, and she finally let go when she saw the others. They had already drowned, and their bodies were next to her. A blonde-haired boy was there, as well as the fiery boy from earlier. She cried invisible tears into the water and sobbed when no one could hear her, because she'd finally found his name in the back of her mind.

Sasuke.

He opened his eyes and shouted, clear as if they weren't underwater.

"Yuri!"

Shinku woke up, gasping for air. She'd been calling out in her sleep, screaming for Sasuke. She saw her pillow, across the room with tear stains, and realized that her vision was blurry from tears, not from tiredness.

The chair by her bedside was empty. Looks like maybe no one cared about her after all.

But then she saw that the clock read 3:00, and the sky was filled with stars. No one would've been allowed into the room. Visiting hours were over.

Shinku retrieved her pillow, heading back to bed. Then she saw that someone had brought her a vase of white lilies.

And a key on a necklace.

##  15-Naruto

Visiting hours had finally started. It was Sunday, what else could he do?

Yesterday, Sasuke had told him what room Shinku was in, and so he knocked.

"Come in."

Walking into her room, he saw a bouquet of flowers had been gathered into a vase-- and that vase had been shattered against a wall, the flowers burnt into a crisp.

"Shinku?"

He looked to her bed, where she was writing the same word over and over on a piece of paper, crying.

'Yuri.'

That meant lily, right?

A note lay on the floor, the first half of it burnt.

'--i, come home."

Naruto slowly inched closer to Shinku. In a black tank top and loose red pants, he saw her arms for the first time. They had horizontal scars from her wrists to her inner elbows, lining the skin of her forearms.

"Are you alright?"

She looked up and laughed, pulling her arms close. It was a sad laugh, brief and filled with pain, a laugh that felt fragile like it would give way to tears at any moment.

"No 'hello,' huh? Skipping straight to the point."

She smoothed out the sheets next to her and pulled on a light and flows gray cardigan.

"I've been in a lot of pain since they sealed the curse mark."

He nodded. He'd heard about that.

He plopped into the empty space next to her, eyeing the burnt white lilies on the floor.

"Looks like you tried to burn the place down."

Shinku smiled sadly.

"The flowers were there when I woke up. I think-- no, I know Kabuto sent them."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Not Sasuke?"

"Why would he send me flowers?"

"You're right about that. It'd be easier to get a clump of dirt to have emotions."

"Anyway, it couldn't have been him. He doesn't know. Naruto... Shinku isn't my real name."

"Then, what is it?"

No subtlety.

She took a deep breath and exhaled the answer softly.

"Yuri."

The door to the room slid open as she said this, and a black-haired boy caught her birth name.

##  16-Sasuke

Shinku, the shy girl he'd met only a week ago, came barreling at him. Of course, he had already known her real name, because he was the one to admit her to the emergency room.

At first, he thought she was angry, until she hugged him.

She went straight to sleep when him and Naruto walked her home, and then he went for a walk.

He felt something, or someone, following him, and he felt for a weapon.

Damn, he'd left his kunais at home.

He turned around, looking through the trees.

"Hello, Uchiha."

He turned back, and saw Kabuto standing in front of him. He kicked out, and the silver-haired boy caught his leg, but not quite in time. His glasses fell to the ground, the left lens cracked.

The older boy chuckled slightly. Sasuke yanked his leg downward, bringing Kabuto with it. He swung a fist, and it connected, Kabuto's lower lip beginning to bleed. He kicked Sasuke's legs out from under him, pinning him to the ground.

"It seems Shinku doesn't want to return to us. And you're the reason."

Sasuke's eyes widened and he broke free of Kabuto's hold temporarily, only to have a kunai buried deep in his side.

"This is a message. Tell her that the next one will be her beloved Sasuke-kun's dead body."

Kabuto took off, leaving Sasuke about a mile from the hospital. He noticed something white on the kunai, but he blinked and the whole kunai was red with his blood. He began to slowly stagger his way to the hospital.


	5. Chapter 5

#  Chapter 5

##  17-Sakura

Monday morning, Sasuke didn't show up to training at all. Naruto and Kakashi showed up at the same time.

"Sasuke won't be able to make it here today."

Kakashi spoke in the most forced cheerful tone Sakura had ever heard.

"Yeah, he's in--"

Kakashi punched Naruto face-first into the ground before he could say anything, but Sakura was already suspicious.

"Where is he?"

Sakura began to worry.

"Don't worry about it."

Kakashi's eye was squeezed shut as if he was smiling, but Sakura wasn't having it.

"Cut the crap, Kakashi! Where is he?!"

"He's just resting up in the hospi--"

Naruto got punted before he could finish, but Sakura was already running in the direction of the hospital.

As she walked in, she bumped shoulders with an angry-looking Sasuke. He was headed out, so she turned right back around and walked out with him.

"Sasuke-kun, what happened?"

He didn't respond.

"Don't tell me I ran all the way here just to be ignored!"

Sasuke kept walking.

"Look, I get it, okay? I'm invisible to you. All you ever see is an annoying, desperate, needy fan girl. I know, but you never really see me, do you?"

Sasuke paused.

"Sasuke, please! For once. I'm not here because I am a fan girl..."

Sakura began to tear up.

"I'm here as a teammate. I'm here because I was worried when you didn't show up for training. Am I not allowed to care, just because you hate me? I just... I want to be your friend."

Sakura's tears fell to the ground.

"It hurts to feel insignificant."

Sakura cried quietly, her shoulders shaking.

"I want to be there for you."

Sasuke took a step toward her.

"Kabuto found me."

At the sound of his voice, she looked up.

"He hurt you?"

"He left me bleeding in the woods."

Sakura nodded, sniffing. She understood, and made the conscious decision to walk home with him.

##  18-Shinku/Yuri

Anxiety had made her sick. Her migraine had kept her home that morning from immobility and worry. Where was he? He hadn't come home last night.

When Sasuke and Sakura walked through the door. Of course he'd been hurt because of her.

And of course he'd go to Sakura first.

She felt a pang of jealousy before standing up and stepping forward to help him.

"Sasuke, what happened?"

"Thanks to you, Kabuto decided he needed a kunai in the side."

Sakura smirked.

Sasuke shrugged off the help with a wince.

Of course Kabuto went after Sasuke.

Shinku dug her red-painted fingernails into her palms.

"He thinks that he can get to me by hurting the people I care about."

Of course, Kabuto knew her best. He was right.

"Yuri, it's fine."

Sasuke reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder.

Sakura looked confused.

"It's my birth name," Shinku said by way of an explanation. "Please don't call me that," she said to Sasuke, wincing.

He nodded, and Sakura agreed as well, going home.

Of course, Sasuke didn't go into any further details on the encounter with Kabuto.

Shinku didn't feel like cooking, and so they went out for lunch.

Why did they want her back so badly? The visit, the mark, the lilies, and now Sasuke?

Kabuto had gone too far with that. He knew her, alright. And he was jealous.

He thought she'd fallen for the Uchiha boy.

As Shinku looked up at Sasuke on the walk home, she stopped him outside the door to their apartment.

She stood on the tips of her toes, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck as she brought her lips up to meet his.

Of course, Kabuto was right.

However, it had not been the right time. A particular pair of bright green eyes had looked up just in time to catch the moment.

Sakura Haruno had left home to buy rice, but instead she ran home with empty hands, tearful eyes and a broken heart.

##  19-Naruto

There was an awkward distance between Sakura and Sasuke on Tuesday during training. Afterward, Naruto tried to lighten the mood, but was met with strained silence.

That is, until Sakura followed him home. Sasuke wasn't headed straight home yet, so he didn't walk with them. They walked straight past Shinku on the way home, and Naruto wanted to say hi, but Sakura dragged him straight past her.

Once he closed the door to the apartment, she began to rummage through his fridge.

"Jeez, your fridge is empty."

Eventually, she came across a quart of ice cream and grabbed it, along with a spoon.

"Sakura-chan, what's going on?"

Sakura looked up to see him genuinely baffled and sighed. The façade she'd been wearing all day crumbled to pieces and she began to tear up.

"First, it was you. Now, it's Shinku-Yuri-whoever-she-is, and I can't, I just can't... She-- she kissed him yesterday."

Naruto sighed.

"It wasn't my fault I kissed him. Neji bumped into me, and I--"

"It's not about you, it's about HER!"

"Well, I don't know what you want me to do about it, Sakura!"

"I'm not asking for you to help me, you idiot!"

In his own way, Naruto was helping. Arguing sufficed to distract her while still letting her vent, and plus, he received a couple of free punches from one of his best friends.

How could it be better?

"What about Rock Lee? He's totally obsessed with winning your love!"

"Are you kidding? He's a desperate dumb ass!"

"Well, I like you! You can't argue that you're unlovable! I won't let you!"

"Oh, so you get to tell me what I can and can't do now?"

Sakura paused for a moment to catch her breath, and she finally realized what he said.

"You... Like me?"

"Of course I do! Half the village likes you! What, do you expect me to lie or something?"

Sakura went quiet for a moment, and they maintained eye contact until she nervously laughed and playfully punched him.

"I'll just go home now. Thanks for the chat!"

She gracelessly sidestepped his question on her way out the door, into the rain, in utter disbelief.

Naruto later looked into his freezer and realized that she had taken his ice cream.

##  20-Sasuke

"You don't have to leave."

Sasuke watched her pack her bags in shock. He'd just come in from the rain. She'd planned on being gone before he came home, but he wasn't gone as long as he'd expected.

"Of course I do. Don't you get it? The harder it is for me to do this, the more necessary it is. I can't..."

Shinku paused to keep herself from crying.

"I can't be here. I'm not safe, and the more I care about anyone, the more likely they are to die."

"I can handle myself."

"Can you?"

She flung a bag over her shoulder and gestured to his side.

"Even I'm not safe here."

"Of course you are."

"Well, who made me your responsibility?"

Shinku raised her voice at him, tears in her eyes, and she shook her head.

"I did!"

Sasuke didn't hesitate with his answer.

"I know that's a lie, Sasuke. I know that I'm just an assignment to you."

She went to push past him, but he grabbed her by the wrists and pushed her up against a wall. He kissed her fiercely, and she gave in quickly.

Even after he let go, she stood there, petrified, tears in her eyes.

"Does that feel like you're just an assignment?"

Shinku looked down at her feet and pushed herself off the wall, walking past him, careful not to make any kind of contact.

Maybe she needed not to care, maybe he'd only made it more necessary for her to leave, maybe he'd made it harder for her to do that, but Sasuke didn't care.

Part of him had needed that kiss, had needed her, and that part of him would not let her walk out that door.

So he tried to block her path.

And she ran outside into the pouring, freezing rain.

What was teardrops and what was rain didn't matter anymore, the droplets on her cheeks made him feel the urge to wrap his arms around her. He wanted to protect her.

As she shuddered in his arms, pounding at his chest and sobbing, he held tight.

Eventually, she came back inside with him.

They talked all through the night.

 


	6. Chapter 6

#  Chapter 6

##  21-Sakura

Their first mission ever!

And it was a lost cat. In the rain.

Afterward, Sakura marched off with her teammates to the Ichiraku ramen stand.

"Sometimes, I just don't understand Kakashi."

Naruto somehow managed to speak with a waterfall of noodles falling from his mouth.

"We're ninjas, not just kids anymore!"

Sakura sighed. She'd have to agree with him on that, even though she'd never say it out loud. Sasuke didn't even bother eating. He just leaned against a wall like if he moved, it would fall, and it took away from his usual looking-badass-ness.

When Team 8 walked past, Ino and Hinata joined them and Sasuke and Shinku left, walking home.

"So, Sakura-chan, are they a thing?"

Ino snapped her bubblegum obnoxiously in Sakura's face, placing her elbows on the counter.

"I don't know, Ino," Sakura sighed.

She turned to Naruto and Hinata, anything to get off this topic. Ino got bored quickly, walking away to a different stand down the street, poking at a bejeweled bracelet.

Sakura ate the rest of her ramen quietly, thinking. Were they? She didn't know. That was an honest answer.

She was snapped from her Sasuke-related thoughts by Naruto, talking about her to Hinata.

"Yeah, she was great out there today," he said to Hinata. "You know, I've liked her since we were little."

Hinata's shy smile turned sad before disappearing altogether.

"Oh," was her reply.

She nodded and left.

Normally, Sakura would try to cheer her up or get her to stay, but she couldn't.

She felt something she'd never felt for anyone except Sasuke before.

Jealousy, but different.

With Sasuke, it was because she thought he belonged to her. With Naruto, it was...

She needed to get away from his. His stupidity was obviously rubbing off on her if she felt like she wanted his attention.

She paid for herself and left, Naruto screaming at her to at least pay for his as well.

She had to hold back her laughter as her inner self screamed at her not to care about him.

Because that would just be stupid.

##  22-Shinku

As they walked in, they saw broken glass everywhere. Shinku saw where the window had shattered and she saw the kunai first.

She brushed the shards of glass off of it, cutting up her fingers but she didn't care. She was familiar with the color red, the same color as the ribbon on the kunai. It appeared to be holding a note to the handle of the blade, labeled '2'.

There must be another one then...

Shinku looked up at Sasuke.

"It has a note, but it says there's a first one."

Sasuke's eyes widened, and he brought another kunai from his room.

"It's the one that Kabuto left in my side. I should've noticed the note, but I..."

Shinku could tell he was berating himself for letting his emotions get in the way. She took the kunai, squeezing his hand gently.

'1: Next time, he won't be alive when I send him back to you.'

'2: You have until Sunday morning at midnight.'

The first note had Sasuke's dried blood on it, and the second one had Shinku's fresh blood on it. She began to hyperventilate.

She slid down the wall, down to the floor, both notes clutched tight between her fingers. She held them in her left hand, the blades in her right hand, but it was unclear which held more of a threat.

The kunais fell to the ground, and the tears followed. Her sobs tore through her, scraping her vocal chords and making her throat raw.

Sasuke crouched next to her and she held her hand out to him.

Just as she was about to let it fall back to her side, he took it in both of his and pulled her close.

She could hear his heartbeat.

##  23-Naruto

Sasuke had pulled Kakashi aside first thing when they met at the bridge the next day. Something was wrong, and Naruto knew it.

"Shinku's gone," Kakashi finally announced. "I'll head over to the Hokage's office, you guys meet me in her bedroom."

Naruto nodded, and Sasuke lead the way.

When they got there, Sakura noticed that there was a kunai stuck in the wall. Grudgingly, Sasuke noted that the ribbon on it was untied, and Naruto wondered why that was important.

The window was broken, but not enough for a human to fit through, and all of her stuff was gone.

"So, she wasn't kidnapped," said Naruto.

The Hokage needed convincing, but he did send them to look for her. They took off through the trees and tracked her awhile.

Until they couldn't. There were no more tracks, and they couldn't feel the chakra of anyone nearby.

Sasuke was angry, and Sakura looked worried.

"Sasuke-kun, are you alright?"

The first time she'd spoken to him since Monday. That was four days ago. That's something Naruto knew and Sasuke probably never even bothered to notice. He knew that not speaking to Sasuke had been tearing her apart, and he knew that by being a good friend, and Sasuke just ignored her?

"Sasuke?"

Sakura stepped a little closer.

"Sasuke! She hasn't talked to you in days, and she asked you a question!"

Naruto shouted at Sasuke, but it was like he was deaf to their concern. Naruto balled his hands into fists and clenched his jaw.

As he went to hit Sasuke, Sakura stepped in the way.

"Don't," she said, turning to Sasuke.

He held another kunai, turning it over in his hands.

"Sasuke... She's really affected you this much? Yuri's gone. We can't track her."

"Don't call her that," Sasuke growled through gritted teeth.

Sakura turned around, shaking her head. Naruto watched her walk away, but when he turned back, Sasuke was gone.

##  24-Sasuke

He jumped from tree to tree, as fast as he could. The kunai had a note attached to it in Shinku's handwriting, telling him exactly where she would be. When he reached the clearing atop the hill, which she'd referred to as the 'bald hill,' he saw Shinku, Kabuto and a tall, pale man with long, black hair.

Orochimaru.

"I figured you'd be the one to find it," she giggled.

"You don't have to go back," said Sasuke.

Shinku smiled slyly.

"This is my decision, Uchiha boy. I only brought you here for Orochimaru."

What was this? This wasn't like her. Why was she acting like this?

"Take me instead." Sasuke stepped closer. "You can use me."

Orochimaru ran his fingers over Sasuke's body.

"You could be useful. A real Uchiha, born with the sharingan and not driven mad by chakra infusions that would burn you to the core... Shinku survived the infusions, but she was the only one... And there were severe consequences... You, we could train," Orochimaru licked his lips, "but not yet."

"We have Shinku. We don't need his baggage and angst," Kabuto mused.

"She belongs here, in Konohagakure."

Sasuke made eye contact with Shinku. She scoffed and looked away.

"I don't. I have nothing here for me anymore, and I need power."

"You want revenge, yes."

Orochimaru touched his neck.

"What are you willing to pay?"

"Anything."

Orochimaru yanked him back by the shoulder and bit into his neck. Sasuke's knees buckled in pain as he felt the snake Sannin's chakra flowing through him.

"Oh, Sasuke," Shinku giggled again.

"You're ever the reluctant hero. There's nothing you can do, and yet you still try."

She patted his left shoulder where he'd just been bitten.

When he looked up, all three of them were gone and he had a curse mark on his neck identical to the one on Shinku's hip.

His team found him hours later.

 


	7. Chapter 7

#  Chapter 7

##  25-Sakura

He just... left.

She'd begged him not to go.

Three years later, Sasuke left the village.

That was last night. She had pleaded, she'd cried for him, but he knocked her out with a swift blow to the head and left her on a bench.

Sakura Haruno had a banging headache, and all she could think about was Sasuke.

They were 15 now. Everything was different.

'You're so annoying.'

What did it matter? She should just give up on whatever it was she'd thought they had.

The three of them. Together.

She'd always imagined that her and Naruto would be like siblings, that Naruto and Sasuke would be rivals, but still best friends, and that her and Sasuke were the meant-to-be couple. Everything but the last part had come to pass in the end, and maybe she should get over it.

'Give up, Sakura. Just give up on that childish dream of yours and grow up. You're not going to be together. Did you really think you could stop him from going to Orochimaru?'

These thoughts were so loud, the only thing she could do was ignore them. Or try to.

Sitting in bed, Sakura felt helpless, hopeless and worthless. In her mind's eye, she saw Sasuke on the ground all those years ago, writhing in pain from the mark on the bald hilltop when they'd found him.

'Sasuke, why would you ever want to put yourself through that again?'

Yet, there in her heart of hearts, she knew.

He wanted power, he wanted his revenge, he wanted to resurrect the Uchiha clan his own way.

Sakura slid her sandals on and walked through the market like a zombie, hair a mess and dark circles under her eyes.

She came home with double the wrong ingredients and none of the right ones, cursing herself for moving on autopilot.

##  26-Shinku

"That's enough for today."

Shinku fell to her knees with a sword in her belly, Kabuto there to help.

Training with Orochimaru was always tough. Suddenly, she felt a vaguely familiar chakra presence nearby as she yanked the sword out.

Orochimaru licked his lips as Sasuke walked into the clearing.

"Looking for a quick death, my child?"

Orochimaru chuckled, sending Sasuke to his knees with a wave of pain.

"Or is slow and painful more to your liking?"

Sasuke dug his nails into the throbbing mark on his neck, drawing blood.

Once Kabuto helped Shinku's wound heal, she clambered over to Sasuke and threw herself in between them.

"No!"

"Insolent child," Orochimaru sneered as she buckled over in pain.

"I taught you better than that, Yuri."

She immediately quieted, clenching her teeth to keep from screaming.

"What brings you here, Uchiha boy?"

Orochimaru snapped, sounding impatient.

"I need your power. I need you to train me so that I can defeat my brother," Sasuke spat between grunts of pain.

"How do I know you're not a spy for the Hidden Leaf?"

"Because that wouldn't give me what I need to defeat my brother."

Orochimaru considered this, then snapped his fingers for Kabuto to bring Sasuke to a bedroom.

"Good enough," he smirked.

Shinku ran to her room, heart pounding. Why was he here? Yes, he said a reason, but Sasuke Uchiha was never that straightforward. She glanced into the hall, looking for which room Kabuto would put him in. She'd remember it. She could never get lost in these tunnels.

She touched the key around her neck.

The only purpose it serves was to remind her that these caverns were not her home. She had a place where she belonged, and it was not here.

##  27-Naruto

She tripped.

No one else saw it, he thought. Until Neji was at her side to help her. Goddamn, why couldn't he be fast enough? The Hyuuga boy obviously was. In fact, the eyes of almost every guy in the village were on her.

Sakura Haruno.

Sasuke left two days ago, and everybody knew it. Naruto was left with anger and frustration, but others saw this as an opportunity to take advantage of his friend.

Lately, she'd taken to holing up in her house with Tsunade's medical ninjutsu books, studying and practicing all the time, and it was beginning to show. Lack of chakra and lack of Sasuke were visibly weakening her. Naruto could understand that, but she was definitely taking this too far.

"Sakura-chan, you don't have to practice every new jutsu you study."

He pulled her out of her home around noon. She began to whine, but she didn't fight it. Apparently, lack of food and lack of sleep were additional factors to her deterioration.

"Can't you just try to limit yourself, Sakura?"

"You're not one to talk about self control, you idiot."

"Just find an animal to abuse or something! You know, like any normal person wou--"

Sakura immediately punched him into a tree.

"You hurt animals?!"

Naruto went red.

"I just meant for you to find a way to let out your feelings!"

Sakura shook her head and went to walk back inside when he threw a kunai at an angle that made it damn near impossible to get the door open.

He wouldn't be letting her get away that easily.

She rolled her eyes and placed a hand defiantly on her hip.

And then he collapsed to the ground in a heap of limbs, yelping in shock and pain.

Naruto could do this all day long if he had to.

##  28-Sasuke

His first day of training left him utterly drained. He peeled off his shirt, one traditionally worn by ninjas of the Hidden Sound village. Originally, he had refused it, but in time, it returned with the Uchiha emblem sewn into the back of it. He wore it reluctantly.

As he tossed the shirt onto the bed, a knock at the door made him pause.

"Come in."

Shinku was taller than he'd last seen her, but still only 5 feet tall. She was a lot more curved at the edges than she'd been at age twelve. She still blushed easily, though, her eyes wandering to the scar on his left side. Her eyes were the same shape, though her cheekbones were more defined.

He wondered what changes she saw in him.

"Why..."

She paused, taking in a shallow, shuddering breath.

"Why are you here, Sasuke?"

After years of distance, it would only make sense for her to have dropped the more intimate suffix of 'kun,' but why did it bother him?

"I need to get revenge. For that, I need power. I'm not strong enough on my own. After that, I'll be Orochimaru's next vessel."

Shinku's eyes widened, but she shook her head and drew in a breath in surprise.

"What does Sakura think?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"Well, I think... I think it's stupid."

Shinku held back her tears.

"But you never cared about me. Consider someone else for once before you make decisions. Not that you'd listen to me."

Shinku ran from the room, and he could hear her crying quietly in the cavernous hallway. The rocks echoed her sobs as if to mock him, and he couldn't block it out.

Let her believe he didn't care.

She'd never know.

 


	8. Chapter 8

# Chapter 8

## 29-Sakura

Three days ago. Sakura had been keeping count. Sakura had to speak to the Lord Hokage regarding the disappearing act, and it was not going well.

"I also left the village because there was nothing left for me here. I may have been tempted by Orochimaru's promises of glory and power as well as his ties to my past, but I didn't go to him. Now he has two sharingan users.

"When he was a serious threat to the village because he had one of them, I came back. Begrudgingly, but I did so for you.

"Now he has two, and one of them whose bloodlust will more than likely outlast his wish for vengeance on his brother."

A tall, skinny, young-looking blonde woman sat down after her soliloquy of a testimony, and the Hokage nodded.

"Thank you, Tsunade."

"Not to disrespect her statement, but that's not who Sasuke is. I trained him for three years. Don't you trust my judgement?"

"Orochimaru is building an army, Kakashi," said Tsunade.

"We can't trust that he won't attack us."

Sakura had to leave the room for the rest of the discussion, but she was pretty sure it had to do with building up on guards and defenses.

It sickened her to think she'd have to fight against Sasuke one day, but she'd do anything to protect her home. She got to her house and felt like if she tried to eat, it wouldn't stay down.

And so she grabbed another book to study from.

She tried to follow Naruto's advice and not practice every jutsu she studied. It helped, but even then she fell asleep studying, exhaustion kicking in.

She dreamed of Sasuke, of his blood on the floor, on her hands, on his clothes, on her kunai.

She dreamed of killing him.

## 30-Shinku

Orochimaru had Kabuto disable her chakra release.

Shinku panted, sweat forming on her brow. The concentration and effort it took forced her to her hands and knees, and she knew she was too weak to do it. She felt sore, and toe overuse of chakra was overwhelming her.

"You can stop now," Kabuto said, but she held out a hand to stop him.

"I can do this," she said. "Just... A little... Longer..."

She coughed, and blood sprayed on the pavement.

Sasuke's eyes went wide.

"She's going to kill herself trying too hard."

He looked to Kabuto.

As Kabuto re-enabled her chakra release, Shinku collapsed to the ground.

"Sasuke, I'm not weak."

Shinku stubbornly refused his help standing up. She wobbled, leaning on Kabuto with the familiarity of having done this millions of times. She was dizzy, sure, but she didn't need him condescending to her on top of everything else.

Kabuto helped hold her up with an intimate grip on her waist, walking her to her bedroom.

"I'm sorry, Shinku. You'll do better next time."

She kissed him gently as he laid her down on the bed, feeling a pang of sadness when she realized it wasn't him she'd rather be kissing. Shinku looked up to see Sasuke in the doorway, expression blank, tossing a smooth stone up into the air and catching it again.

Neither boy was very open about their emotions, but she knew the feeling of the tension between them.

Was she really worth it?

She could tell Sasuke would much rather the stone be going through Kabuto's head than through air.

She turned away from Kabuto on the bed, and he eventually went away.

Sasuke didn't.

She turned her head and looked at him.

"Why do you care about me?" She asked.

"Only ask me questions you want to hear the answer to."

She paused, standing up.

She pulled him gently by the wrist into the room before closing the door.

"I've known Kabuto for as long as I can remember. Why... Why is it that I would rather be kissing you?"

Sasuke looked up from his hands, placing the rock on the bedside table.

"I feel the same," he said.

Shinku shook her head, smiling sadly and biting her lower lip.

"I don't understand any of this. Why do I feel this way?"

Tears began to well up in her eyes, and he had her cornered. All she could see was him, all she could hear was his breath and her own heartbeat, and he gave her a familiar look.

It was the look he gave her before he kissed her three years ago.

Before she could say anything, her lips were met with his. At first, it was gentle as a question, but she answered with 'yesyesyes' in body language by pulling him closer, his hands on her waist and her hands threading and lacing themselves into his hair. She’d wanted this since the day they met.

## 31-Naruto

A year since Sasuke left, and the Hokage had grown less anxious.

That was great, but Naruto would be happier if he wasn't as anxious over Sakura.

He was almost over Sakura, but not quite.

Well, obviously he had other things to worry about, like his maybe-kinda-almost feelings for Hinata. 

It was almost like Sakura didn't want him hanging out with her. It was just...

Odd.

Naruto and Sakura were headed out to lunch, just the two of them, when he saw Hinata.

He hugged the girl from behind. He really shouldn't have, since it made her faint every time, but when she came to, he invited her to lunch with him and Sakura.

The pink-haired girl scowled at him.

"S-sure, Naruto. I'd love to-to do that," said Hinata.

"I thought it was just us, Naruto? I'm not sure if we can afford--"

"I'll pay for it. C'mon! It'll be fun!"

"Fine," Sakura sighed.

The diner on the corner was open, and because Sakura nagged him to eat something other than ramen, they entered.

Both girls wanted to sit next to him, but the booth had no space for that, so Sakura shoved Hinata into the seat across from him. Why would Sakura want to sit next to him?

The lunch was awkwardly quiet, and afterward, when Naruto went to say goodbye to Sakura and walk Hinata home, she had disappeared.

Sometimes, she was a mystery.

When Naruto got home, she was just sitting there on his couch.

"Oh, so you broke in?"

"You didn't lock your door."

"That didn't mean to come in!"

"I just couldn't stand the way you act around Hinata."

"Jealous?"

Naruto's smile grew lecherous, and Sakura punched him across the room.

He just meant it as a joke...?

"Shut up," she mumbled. "I would never..."

## 32-Sasuke

Sasuke woke in the middle of the night. He knew something was wrong.

He pulled on his nearest pair of pants, tying them around the waist and padded through the tunnels. He'd gotten used to the layout, but never the constant dampness, being a fire user.

Stepping outside, he saw Kabuto and Shinku step through the trees.

"Where were you?"

Sasuke pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head, running his fingers through her hair.

"Making good on a promise," Kabuto replied.

He tugged Shinku from Sasuke's grip and she whimpered, bruises visible on her face and neck.

"What have you done?"

Sasuke snarled at Kabuto, a kunai swiftly raised against his throat. Upon closer inspection, Kabuto was a little busted up as well, but Shinku's injuries were fresher and he'd gone out of his way not to heal them.

The bastard.

Sasuke's teeth were gritted and his hand was clenched so tight that his knuckles were white. Kabuto smiled, the effort twitching his face into more of a grimace.

"The Hokage is dead."

No faster than the words escaped his lips than Sasuke was gone.

He jumped through the trees as fast as he could. He couldn't do anything about it, but he needed to know if it was true.

"Sasuke--!"

The first thing he heard was her voice.

"Is it true?" He asked.

"What?"

Sakura Haruno's eyes went wide, her expression confused, long lashes fluttering.

"Is the Hokage..."

Sakura's eyes hardened.

"So you come back just for the disaster? To watch us fall apart?"

She threw a kunai, but he redirected it. She looked surprised when he missed, his kunai hitting the dirt.

As he headed back to the hideout, he heard the kunai explode.

Normally, she would've tracked his movements better, would've seen the explosion tag he'd attached, but her reaction was delayed by stress. More than seeing him would have caused.

By the time the dust settled, he was gone. He'd gotten his answer.

And in her own way, she'd given it to him.


	9. Chapter 9

#  Chapter 9

##  33-Sakura

The pink-haired kunoichi stood on a tree branch, watching Shinku help Sasuke stumble into the village, broken and bloody, two years later.

"Sasuke, you could help a little. Dragging your feet is only going to make things worse."

"I can't exactly run."

The sound of his voice was silly and smooth. Sakura ran to help.

"I can get him to the hospital from here. You wouldn't exactly remember the way after six years, would you?"

Sakura's steely gaze found only caring red eyes. She'd expected to hate or be hated, but nothing happened.

"Iadetic memory."

Sasuke grumbled, breaking their awkward silence.

"What?"

Sakura looked at Shinku.

"I... I have a perfect memory. My brain is incapable of forgetting anything. It's both a blessing and a curse."

Both girls helped him to the infirmary. Afterward, Shinku asked Sakura something.

"So, how have you been since I left? I thought about Team 7, all of you for a while, and I figured that we might be able to start over. I... always thought you were too cool for me."

Sakura was perplexed.

"I've been training to be a medic. I, um, figured you thought I wasn't good enough to be friends. I actually... I forgot almost all about you. I only remember watching..."

Sakura shook her head.

"I remember how you made me feel, and I remember you kissed him."

Shinku sighed wistfully.

"Yeah, I remember that, too."

The girls paused.

"Wanna hang out sometime?"

Sakura knew it was a reach, but...

"Sure. What better time than now? How about... The old ramen stand?"

Both of them smiled, and Sakura nodded.

##  34-Shinku

Sakura had undersold herself. She was almost a high-ranking medical ninja, and Shinku had to find out by having her called away mid- conversation?

The Lady Hokage had heard about the return of both Shinku and Sasuke, and so she sent for the only viable option; the only one not in the hospital.

Shinku didn't think six months of probation was too bad, and after all, Sasuke was only getting two months. She understood. She hadn't been trusted to begin with. Even though they didn't know why she'd left the village to go back to Orochimaru.

But damn, the Hokage just had to ask.

"They threatened my friends. That's who stabbed Sasuke all those years ago. There were three notes, the first threatening to kill Sasuke if I stayed. The second note told me that I had a few days to say goodbye. The third..."

Shinku gulped back her tears.

"The third said that they'd changed their mind about the time limit. I had until that night, and if I tried to stay or if I ever tried to return... That they would kill the Hokage. Two years ago... The lord Hokage... That was my fault. I had tried to return, hoping they'd forgotten. I hadn't told you guys about the note six years ago, but... I should have."

Shinku thought the exhausted-looking blonde woman would only add probation time, but instead she lowered it to eight weeks, like Sasuke's.

As she walked outside, she looked up at the sky and smiled. It was a sunny day, perfect for her to walk home.

She stopped herself outside of the Uchiha manor. She'd never been inside, but she'd walked past it before. She always thought it was pretty.

She continued walking until she got to the small, rickety old house she grew up in. Shinku took off her necklace, sliding the bright silver key into the rusty old brass lock, opening the door to walk in and unpack her things.

She had carried that key around her neck for years, and she only got to use it now.

##  35-Naruto

"Sakura? Have you visited Sasuke yet?"

"Nope."

She was reading again, doing exactly what she shouldn't be doing, practicing one jutsu after the next. She only did that when she was upset.

"He's been in the hospital a week, and you haven't seen him yet?"

"How thick is your skull, baka?"

"Alright, alright..."

Naruto left Sakura alone. He walked down the hall, left, right, right, walking through Sasuke's door without knocking.

"You really used Chidori 9 times in one fight? Seriously, Sasuke?"

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Yeah. Right. It's just a fove of fractured bones in your arms, two cracked ribs, three torn ligaments, one broken leg..."

"Shut up. And all of those numbers are wrong."

Naruto sighed.

"Glad to have you back. Hey, where's your girlfriend?"

"We are not dating."

Sasuke glared at Naruto, a glare that said, 'I will rip off my arm and beat you with it, no matter how broken it is.'

Naruto shrug-pologized.

"Not my fault you two have unresolved angst from who knows how many years ago."

Sasuke grunted, turning over before suddenly regretting movement. He looked up at Naruto, and the blonde smiled.

He truly was glad to have his best friend back in Konohagakure, but he didn't want to jump on him.

He just savored the moment to get more chances to harass him, making sure his stay at the hospital wasn't too boring.

##  36-Sasuke

After a month of the agonizing confinement and torture that was the hospital, Sasuke insisted on checking out early. After all, it was only a matter of time before Sakura showed up to force feed him apples, right?

Wrong. Turns out, she worked at the hospital, but hadn't come to see him at all. In fact, as another nurse told him, she'd refused to be his nurse at the very least twice.

Surprised when he saw her working at the front desk, Sasuke waved at her over his shoulder as he left.

She didn't even look up.

Two days later, after he scared the first home nurse off, the pink-haired kunoichi herself showed up at his front door, knocking.

"I don't need a babysitter, and it should've been in my file that I'm not allowed to lock my door."

Sasuke sounded agitated, speaking with an air of superiority, until he made eye contact.

Her lashes had somehow gotten longer, and her eyes more full of emotion than ever. She went from scared to surprised to... Blank. He'd never seen that from her, but then again, he'd never really seen her. Now, she had his attention.

"I was being polite," she said.

He stepped away from the door, walking inside by way of invitation.

The first girl, or outsider in general, to see the insider of the Uchiha manor in a very long time.

"I'm just here to replace your bandages and give you some healing tea, and then I'll be gone!"

She was cheerful, but there was a distance to it, a sort of coldness.

Her smile never quite reached her eyes the way it used to light up her face and play along every feature whenever they were even in the same room years ago.

When he sat down for her to change the bandages on his arm, she pulled them away gently, and he heard her take in a breath.

"How many times did you..."

Sakura trailed off.

"It was Itachi, wasn't it?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Kakashi said you could only use Chidori once per battle..."

Sakura looked down.

"I need to change your other bandages."

Sasuke pulled his shirt up and over his head, and he saw Sakura stifle a gasp.

Her touch was cool and soft, and she removed the bandages from his hard abdominal muscles.

She held herself back, cleaning and re-bandaging his wounds before giving him the trademark Nurse Haruno lecture.

"Now, drink your healing tea twice a day and don't over exert yourself! Feel free to call the infirmary for more information or for extra assistance!"

She smiled brightly and held the strap of her medical duffel bag, swiveling at the hips and sliding the front door shut behind her as she left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for reading this far, Chapter 10 is almost done!  
> Shinku and Sasuke get a moment in this upcoming chapter that warms my heart, so I can't wait to upload it!


	10. Chapter 10

#  Chapter 10

##  37-Sakura

"Sakura… You're different."

"How so?"

"You're… Not as cheerful or as… overbearing as you used to be."

Sakura paused. It had been over a week of her avoiding his questions.

"I'm still cheerful, just not around you," she said, elaborately calm, steady and casual as she looked down, focusing all of her energy into removing his last bandages.

"Why?"

She looked up, making eye contact.

"Do I really need to explain?"

"I can't be concerned?"

"No! No, you can't!"

As Sakura’s voice got louder, she began to tear up. With all her might, she held it in, because she would  _ not _ let the bastard see her cry.

Not today.

"I'm not your friend, I'm not your fangirl, I'm not your teammate, I thought you wanted me to leave you alone!"

Sakura screamed at him, letting him know the truth.

"If you want a girl to talk to you, try not abandoning her, blowing her up, abandoning her again and then returning years later and pretending that nothing's wrong! That nothing's changed!"

Sakura felt the heat in her face, tears welling up involuntarily, and she had to leave before they broke loose. She pursed her lips and spoke, voice wavering only slightly as she attempted to maintain her composure.

"Make sure you drink your healing tea, Sasuke."

Sakura tried not to slam the door as she left the house, her bag of medical supplies heavy.

She was tired.

Tired of the façades, tired of the games people were perpetually playing with her head, worse than the worst Genjutsu.

And she was tired of the nightmares. The waking ones and the ones that kept her awake at night.

And maybe she was just a little bit exhausted.

"Sakura, are you alright?"

She heard Shinku's voice in double, past and present.

"I'm fine," she replied.

Even though she wasn't. Damn, this felt familiar…

Shinku put Sakura's arm over her shoulders and began to walk her home.

Sakura looked at Shinku, face turning a bright red.

"Shinku, I--"

"Maybe you should tell Tsunade to lay off the training a little. She's fried your brain."

"I just want to help him--"

"You need my help, baka."

Sakura smiled and nodded, reliving a time she didn't remember, fixing the outcome to be the one she'd wanted all along.

##  38-Shinku

Early morning, before sunrise.

Night time had always helped her think.

Sakura had gone home already, and Shinku was alone in her bedroom. She wore black shorts that brushed against the tops of her thighs and a grey tank top, wrapped up in her enormous red blanket.

She turned to look out the window, looking up at the moon. As she placed her hand on the windowsill, her fingers brushed against another hand. Her red eyes widened as her right hand wandered, ensuring that this was not yet another one of her illusions, tracing him from the arm up.

He was solid.

He was real.

Damn, that boy was good at masking his presence from her, sneaking up on her in the dead of the night like they always used to do.

She could feel the pressure of his hands on the small of her back, his body so close that she could smell the familiar scent, ash mixed with something else she could never quite place.

The fingers of her other hand fluttered to his neck, and she traced his jawline with a forefinger. Shinku felt like she had to memorize every detail, the black hair, the black eyes flecked with purple and red, the way he moved, even the sound of his breath, just in case he melted away.

She hadn’t noticed her cheeks redden, but he had. And, if he wasn’t real? She couldn’t tell.

"Sasuke?"

The sound of her voice made something in him snap back to the present, jolting him from the daydream of what once was. He pulled away from her, his expression more sorrowful than cold, but the pain in his eyes dissipated as quickly as it came.

There was a time in both of their lives, where façades crumbled away to dust, and they exposed their vulnerabilities to each other and didn’t have to fake it anymore.

At least, not when they were alone.

But that time was past.

"We need to talk."

"I know," Shinku sighed.

They hadn’t spoken in months. Not since she half-dragged, half-walked him into town, broken and bloodied. They both knew she wanted to be by his side, stumbling along until her last breath. She was a loyal companion, and he once treasured that about her.

But that had, in fact, changed.

"When I left to fight Itachi, you didn’t have to follow me. That was my fight, and my fight alone."

Shinku shook her head, tears already springing into her eyes as she shuddered with breaths laden with still-palpable memories of blood.

"I had to."

"I told you that I’d come back for you! That you were the one person I’d always risk my life to come back to!"

Sasuke was angrier than usual, and she couldn’t bear to make eye contact anymore. She flinched at every raised word, wondering if this is how it was going to be forever.

"I couldn’t just stay and be their puppet!"

"I was going to help you get out of there!"

"How? Half-dead? Once I left, I had no choice. I couldn’t go back, because I had no home to go back to. Those caves had never been my home, I…"

Shinku took a deep, halting breath as the truth of what had happened finally hit her. She’d been in denial, but…

"Sasuke, I… I killed Kabuto."

She hadn’t felt the blanket slip off of her shoulders, onto the floor, but she soon collapsed with it. Yes, she finally realized what she’d done. Shinku sat there, clutching the blanket, tears silently rolling down her cheeks.

"He tried to stop me from following you, and I…"

Sasuke had no idea how to react. They had grown apart after all.

And so, the same way she didn’t notice him arrive, she didn’t notice him leave.

##  39-Naruto

First of all, it surprised him that she was up before noon on a Saturday.

Second of all, it surprised him that he would strike anyone as a morning person. He never was, even as a child.

And so, it was easy to imagine the surprise on Naruto Uzumaki’s face when Sakura Haruno turned up on his doorstep, bright and early, duffel bag held with both hands, loosely in front of her. The bag was vinyl and white, the red cross on the front betraying its contents.

Naruto eyed his teammate skeptically, wondering if she was going to try and jab a needle into his rear, and trying to calculate how much force he’d have to exert to break her hold without breaking her arms. The only problem was that it was too early to think properly for him, and so he was off by far.

“Is Sasuke here?”

“No,” Naruto yawned.

“Well,” she sighed, “he wasn’t home when I stopped by earlier.” Sakura set down her bag of medical supplies, “If he thinks I’m going to just sit down and cry like the twelve-year-old fangirl I used to be, then he’s wrong. But I do owe him an apology.”

“For what?” Naruto opened the door wider to let her step inside, leaving her to close it after herself.

“I… yelled at him. For a lot of reasons. Mainly, for what happened when he left, and then for coming back and acting like there’s nothing wrong… I mean, yeah, it was messed up for him to abandon us, but it was also wrong for me to blow up at him.”

Sakura smiled up at Naruto from her severe height disadvantage.

“After all, even if we’re not a team anymore, we’re still friends!”

Naruto smiled back, knowing that she was right, even if she sometimes didn’t even believe it herself.

“Hey, Sakura?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think they’ll reinstate Team 7 as it was?”

Sakura bit her lip in thought.

“I hope so… Actually, why not? Once Sasuke gets off of probation, he should be free to go on missions with us again.”

“Yeah, just the three of us… What do you think he’s doing right now?”

“I don’t know, but I hope he’s back at his home. I don’t have more than an hour left before that solo mission, so I’ll stop by again before I go.”

“And I’m going back to sleep. See ya!”

“Bye!”

As she opened the door, Sakura left him wondering. She really had changed.

She’d come a long way from the girl who followed Sasuke around when they were young.

##  40-Sasuke

Sasuke had taken a walk to clear his head. He was unable to think clearly, and that was happening too often. He’d left the house close to midnight last night because he’d needed to talk to her, he’d needed to do something, and he was used to her being the one he could go to, but he still couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

And so he was still walking.

After he left her house, he’d gone through the woods at the outskirts of Konohagakure village. He used to know these woods so well when he was younger, but now all he knew was how not to get lost in them. He saw a familiar turn and took it, simple as that, and he soon found himself in a clearing of scarred trees, sliced with the gashes of kunais from years long past. He was on his way back to the village, and had stumbled across them, the trees that felt so familiar, drenched in the past…

That’s when he remembered. Yes, he had been here before, back in the early days of Team 7, measuring his progress against Naruto’s as they learned to run up the trees, defying gravity, slicing the bark at the highest point that they could get, attempting to outdo each other.

Sakura had gotten it pretty quickly, almost right away… Damn, that girl was smart, but him and Naruto struggled for days. They had such a rivalry at the time, their competitiveness fueled their effort to learn.

He missed that, the connection, the rivalry that somehow turned them into best friends. Maybe that was someone he could go to for advice, someone who knew him well, the idiot who always got under his skin.

When he finally snapped out of his memories, he remembered that Sakura was supposed to check in on him at the house.

‘Crap,’ he thought to himself.

They crossed paths as they arrived at the same time, coming from opposite directions.

Immediately, she noticed the leaves in his hair.

“Sasuke, where have you been? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

As he closed the door behind her, he turned around to face her, turning on the lamp beside the table.

“Sakura, I…”

He remembered their interaction from the day before, and trailed off.

He had meant to apologize, but had never really known how.

Apologies were meant to show that you cared enough about someone else to regret something you may have done to hurt them, and he liked keeping people distant.

Ergo, he had never done this before.

“No, Sasuke.”

Sakura placed a hand on his shoulder, sitting him down in the leather armchair in the foyer, setting down her bag and leaning down to make eye contact. Her hands rested on the armrests of the chair he was sitting in, and he was closed in by the scent of her, everything about her, he couldn’t see anything, couldn’t think or focus on anything that wasn’t Sakura Haruno.

And so he leaned back to get a chance to breathe air that didn’t smell like oolong and green tea, the familiar smell he never realized he actually… missed?

“You don’t have to say anything. I know I should be sorry and apologize for what I said yesterday. But I’m not sorry for what I said. I’m sorry for how I said it.”   
She pulled up a wooden chair to right in front of his, close enough that when she did sit down, their knees touched.

Still trapped by proximity, he continued to sit straight, and she leaned forward again in an attempt to hold his focus.

Sasuke looked across at her, his eyes slightly wider than his usual emotionless stare.

Why was she doing this?

He looked down, going cold again, trying to keep from showing too much emotion.

“Sakura… You don’t have to apologize to me.”

She shook her head.

“Just shut up and listen. You did leave us, and you owe it to me to listen to what I have to say, goddamn it.”

He had opened his mouth to speak again, but the look in her eyes made it shut with an audible click.

“Sasuke, I know I came across as harsh, but I didn’t mean for that to come across the way it did.”

She sighed, running her hands through the bright shock of pink hair, the hair that, in and of itself, made her impossible to ignore.

“I meant to tell you… That you hurt me.”

Sakura sighed, a little bit of tension draining out of her shoulders.   
“I know you never cared about that, much less even noticed, but I have to get it off my chest, because… Sasuke, I’ve cared about you since we had baby teeth. I feel like, if anything, I should get out my feelings now. Even if you’re just going to ignore me, and crush my feelings, whether on purpose or not, I’ll never know. But I just have to say that…

Her breath caught.

“I’m tired of waiting. Waiting for you to notice me, waiting for the return of feelings that I thought would happen eventually. Waiting for impossibilities, and I know that now. You’re not the man I thought you’d grow up to be, you never changed and you quite possibly never will, but I wanted to give you one last chance.”

She paused for emphasis, gulping. He saw her bright green eyes search his face for any sign of understanding, and he thought about it. Why did he always reject any sign of affection from her? Was it just that he knew, somewhere inside him, that he  _ did _ care?

“Yesterday, I said that we  _ aren’t  _ friends anymore. We’re not teammates anymore. I’m not an idiotic fangirl who’s going to follow you around anymore, but if they reinstate Team 7… Even if they don’t, I want to fix this. Fix our friendship.”

Sasuke blinked once, then twice, and then he leaned forward, his forehead against hers. Her breath caught and her eyes widened.

“Don’t.”

His mouth twitched into that half-smile he knew had always driven her crazy, but he couldn’t help it.

“The reason I commented on the change in mannerisms… is that you’ve become one of the few people I can tolerate.”

He pulled back, tapping two fingers to her large forehead, and then standing, his hand in his pocket.

“And… thank you for the apology.”


End file.
